Talk Therapy & Healing Words

Expressing differences requires attentive listening

One the key elements of counselling is the transformational power of words used to describe events, feelings, and memories. The role of your therapist is to be keenly aware of the details you share about the problem you are experiencing.

Where you opt to engage in couples counselling, this listening role of your therapist intensifies. The ways you speak about your problems constitutes the “evidentiary support” for mood, poor health, or generalised unhappiness and problem resolution.

Healing begins as soon as you speak, write, or share your views about the problem you are experiencing. The process of articulating a problem for another person to understand also helps you to further process and understand the problem for yourself. In this way, talking about your problem develops a framework for understanding it.

Therapeutic or counselling conversations are different from causal discussions with friends or family. A third party listener who is dispassionate that is, uninvested in your problem offers a neutral listening ground for the articulation of your problem-based perspective to take place. This is often an important first step, although not really needed to heal. Solution-Focused Therapy SFT begins by exploring times when the problem is different, less intense, or absent and never really enters the problem per se.

Once stated or articulated, your problem may be viewed, analysed, explored, and investigated by your therapist and yourself.

Of course, conversations are dynamic and transactional, such that your therapist contributes words or perspectives during the initial sharing of your problem. Some therapists and models only listen during this initial session. Others trained in single session or solution focused models, use even this first session to enter or join in the ways you tell your story, so to offer plausible words or perspectives for understanding your problem.

You will decide which models of therapy work best for you by how you feel at the end of your session and over the first couple of weeks of treatment.

Understanding other points of view is important to getting better

You will also begin to feel better as the words and perspectives used to describe your problem change. As your heart heals, your words and perspectives do as well. Remaining open to the views of your therapist and those involved in counselling with you guarantees improvement.

#wellness #SFT #couplescounselling #healingwords

Two’s Company; Three’s A Crowd: Modern Love

Valentine’s Day is a Western tradition that celebrates love. Inspired by the real life of a Christian Saint, St. Valentine’s Day was originally celebrated as a feast day of love for one another.

It’s a wonderful time to think about your romantic relationship and to take stock about some of the indicators that signify something’s wrong.

Talking about your relationship together is the best way to ensure that your love remains strongly romantic over the course of your marriage!

Some common indictors that your romantic relationship is headed for trouble may include the following:

  • Withholding sexually intimacy as punishment for something unrelated to the bedroom
  • Allowing one or more of your children to invade the “marital” bed for years without setting appropriate boundaries for privacy
  • Failing to create healthy and fun sex that you both enjoy each time
  • Paying more attention to someone your spouse would be upset knowing that you did spend so much time with
  • Fantasizing romantically about someone other than your spouse on a regular basis
  • Losing interest in what your partner has to say
  • Feeling less attracted to your spouse
  • Having little to no sex
  • Ridiculing your partner’s vulnerabilities
  • Failing to apologize when you have said or done something that hurts your partner’s feelings
  • Engaging in sexual or emotional infidelity
The majority of long term marriages are romantic and happy for years !

Couples counselling is usually an excellent way to begin your journey of healing. Waiting until your marriage is in crisis may be late, but not a disaster. Many marriages survive infidelity, economic hardship, health problems, family crises, and poor decisions.

The key to keeping your marriage fun, alive, and supportive is respectful communication both in and outside the bedroom.

Monogamy is cool & fun!

Take advantage of Valentine’s Day this year, and spruce things up! Being romantic does not have to be costly to be really hot and satisfying.

Invest your energy in the one you love, and enjoy the love that grows in turn. Sunny dispositions deserve to shine!

#counselling #truelove #lastinglove #healthy #heal #enjoy